(F) MARRIED YET APART
There was the question of a couple not living together. The husband was an undergraduate in the University and the wife a village teacher. As a village teacher, most weekend expenses had to deal a heavy blow to her purse by way of transport fare, apart from the husband who needed plenty of money to maintain him.
One weekend the husband came with the news that he had been awarded a scholarship. The woman breathed a sigh of relief and beamed with joy. Unfortunately the husband would not bring any of his bursary sum for the family to spend, yet he realized that the woman had no savings in her account because of him. He was still demanding from the wife. At this stage, the woman refused giving him and the man felt: “but she knows I am a student and is this the extent her Christianity goes, or could it be for my scholarship award? She is now so stingy?”
We should have our eyes opened so that we may see all the tricks of the enemy in the various ways he can come to cause disunity so that we may not be caught unawares. We must be wiser than our enemy, the devil. 1 Peter 5:8.
Indeed the case above could have been prevented if some patience was exercised before marriage. Let Christians learn to stay together once married. Eve was deceived by Satan while Adam was away therefore, what God has joined together let not anything, (ACADA, MONEY, SICKNESS, RELATIVES etc.) rend asunder.
Let husband and wife be plain to each other. Your wife should know all your various regular sources of income and vice-versa if indeed you are cleaving. There is no reason why I should hide my pay packet from my husband neither should he hide his from me. If the contrary happens, then we are not fully cleaving and it means we have allowed money to divide us, thus we live below the standard of the word of God.
Having given numerous examples of homes rent in pieces by money I hasten to add that I know of countless Christian homes where peace, joy, love and confidence reign supreme while they maintain a common purse and a joint account. A couple opened a joint account and they had no account number but an account name “Mr & Mrs.........................” when they individually submitted the account name to their respective places of work, they were ridiculed by the accounts staff. It was strange to them. But to the glory of God this couple have stayed together joyfully in full trust of each other over the years. The wife acts as the treasurer while the husband is the financial secretary. They needed no external auditor because they knew they will account to their master Jesus. Money had not and will not divide your home if you follow this pattern.
When we know our financial strength we are able to plan together. As the Lord would have it, remember Gen, 2:25 when Adam and Eve were both naked and were not ashamed. When a couple sees each other’s nakedness even financially, there is much joy instead of shame. I am prescribing to my audience what my husband and I are practising through the grace of God. Paul says in his epistles, “Be ye followers of me...” that is, be my imitator. Let not money divide you.
1 Tim.6:6-10; 1 Pet. 3:1-7; Eph. 5: 22-33
O. O (Mrs.) 20th October, 1979.